Excerpted from the Focus on the Family broadcast “Friendship or Flirtation: Danger Signs for Couples” featuring the Rev. Dave Carder.
19 Dangerous Behaviors
- Saving topics of conversation for your “special friend.”
- Sharing spousal difficulties with your friend (e.g., “My husband (or wife) never … “).
- Allowing the friend to share their relationship difficulties with you (e.g., “My boy/girlfriend always … “).
- Anticipating seeing this person more than your spouse.
- Comparing the friend and your spouse (“If only my spouse was nicer to me like s/he is … “).
- Providing “treats” (coffee, snacks, etc.) for your friend.
- Being concerned for your friend’s welfare (“How did you sleep?”).
- Fantasizing about marriage to your friend.
- Spending more time alone with your friend than your spouse.
- Not allowing your spouse full access to all your modes of communication, including e-mail, texts and phone messages.
- Spending money on your friend without your spouse’s knowledge.
- Arguing with your spouse over the relationship with the friend.
- Lying to spend time with the friend.
- Hiding interactions with the friend.
- Jealousy develops on the part of your spouse (“He sure pays attention
to you … “).
- Developing rituals (e.g., any experience anticipated by both parties, like coffee together).
- Experiencing a “shiver” when your friend shares feelings or touches you.
- Allowing sexual content in your conversations with your friend.
- Corporate dating (taking advantage of business trips to spend quality time together.)
Is there anything you would add to this list, please comment.